Your call is important to us!

Dear Bambi,
My telephone service provider has a voice recognition system, which is continually droning, "I'm sorry, did you say ARRRRGHHH, and bang your receiver on the desk?"
I do not know what to say to get through to an actual uncaring agent. Please Help!

Yours Truly, ARRRRRRGHHHH

Dear ARRRRRRRGHHHH

You have inquired about a subject very near and dear to my heart!
The never ending quest to escape the cold heartless automated voice and talk to a cold heartless living human being will plague our very souls...but there are ways to trick the system!

1. Press zero..yes this does work at times but does it really show the company our disgust? I think not! We need to adopt the second method to send a message

2. Blind rage...Consider this your opportunity to release all the tension you've built up through your day. Narrow those eyes, add menace to your tone, and unleash the vocabulary that your mother used to slap your mouth for! Not only will it shove you through the cue, but sometimes it manages to terrify the customer service agent on the other end and they will comply to your every wish!

The bonus to choosing option two is that it also helps channel the rage from your very soul and reduces the risk of you strapping a bomb to your chest and roaming the lobby of the company in question!

Bambi